17th-century sex education

I got a very pretty edition of Bian er chai (弁而钗)from the library, thinking I'd need it for my thesis, but all I ended up doing was reading two of the four standalone sections, namely "Chaste Love"(情贞) and "Chivalrous Love"(情侠), for fun. [The edition in question is part of a series of erotic xiaoshuo, Si wu xie hui bao, published by a joint Taiwanese-French venture, btw.]

What really tickled me were the frequent interjections from the commentator, which are to me best described as those of a "seventeenth-century literatus fanboy." I'm sure this, er, epithet will strike about zero of the people who actually work with Bian er chai as serious or even accurate, but...well, I should probably let others decide. Starting today I'll post some translated bits of the text with commentary here, and if anyone ever reads them they can sort out the fanboy-or-not question hirself. [NB: no translations of the text into English exist, as far as I'm aware. All the better because my rendition can't get compared to real professionals'!]

To assure you, dear hypothetical reader, that I'm not in this for prurient ends (alone), I should add some FYI about BEC first. Its author is known only as "West Lake-Drunk Master Moon Heart" (醉西湖心月主人); he put out another erotic anthology called the Yi chun xiang zhi (宜春香质, "Fragrance from the Court of Spring"). BEC's full name is Bi geng shan fang bian er chai (笔耕山房弁而钗), "Cap and Hairpin of the Bigeng Mountain Room," and was published late in the Ming dynasty, during the reign of Emperor Chongzhen (r. 1627-1644). The commentator called himself "Resisting Heaven is Futile Daoist Ha-ha " (奈何天呵呵道人--I know the translation sounds like Babelfish, but it's the best I could do). Master Moon-Heart wrote in baihua, or vernacular Chinese.

Now that I've gotten some kind of gesture toward edification out of the way, let me begin the first installment:

Chapter the First: The Interested Hanlin Scholar Disguises Himself to Seek a Friend; The Charming Student Shows Himself a Hero.

The tale goes that there was a student in Yangzhou prefecture, Jiangdu county, who was named Zhao Wangsun, with the courtesy name Zijian. He was fifteen, with delicate, long eyebrows and bright, quick eyes. (Daoist Ha-ha: Nice portrait.) His hair was black as if painted and hung to his shoulders. His face was pale as if powdered, and his lips red as if rouged. His teeth were white and his flesh glowing. Even an immortal would probably be not much better than this. All who saw him were bewitched.

But student Zhao was also a diligent student who had all the classics at his command, and was ambitious, so he never interacted with devious people. (Daoist Ha-ha: Good means of self-preservation.) ...[cold young master Zhao goes to attend a private school headed by one Master Qin, and is assigned a room.] After meeting his Master and hearing the strict rules of the school, student Zhao returned to his room, which was quite tidy and pleasing. Satisfied, he murmured to himself, "Now I'll be free of those lewd companions for good." (Daoist Ha-ha: Not necessarily.) ...

[Enter one hotshot Hanlin scholar, Mr. Feng, who happens to also "love the man-route." Cute Wangsun bumps into his procession one day, and there's some mutual glancing.] That Hanlin sitting on the sedan-chair was not more than twenty years old, in black-satin cap, white-soled boots, blue robe and silver belt, his face as jade and his gaze as autumn water. (Daoist Ha-ha: Like a picture.) Suddenly catching sight of student Zhao, who sparkled blindingly, the Hanlin's soul quickly vacated his flesh. He thought, "What kind of old crone gave birth to a pleasing little piece like this?"
...
[As the Hanlin and his servant-boy "Fragrance" engage in the first sex scene of the book:]
Fragrance cried out, "Sir, harder. Inside it doesn't hurt, doesn't itch, isn't sore, isn't numb--I don't know what it is, but it's uncomfortable." (Daoist Ha-ha: The Western Nirvana-paradise has appeared.) ... The lewd fluids" burst from Fragrance. (Daoist Ha-ha: Marvelous.)

Okay, I think that makes the point pretty well.

Next time, I will bring you the Joys of the "Rear Courtyard." Stay tuned!